Diamonds Are Forever | FRAGMENTEN UIT HET SCHEMERLAND

In anticipation of SPECTRE, FilmDungeon.com editor Jeppe Kleyngeld lists his favourite things about the James Bond series in 12 unique features. Enjoy!

10. Fake Blofeld
Film: DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER
Kiss off line: ‘Wrong pussy’

Why Great? After Bond already supposedly killed his main adversary Blofeld in the pre-title sequence of the movie by drowning him in a pool of superheated mud, he is surprised to learn that he is still alive. Not only that, he has created another copy of himself. Bond has one hook in his climbing gun, so he can kill only one of them, but which one? Bond has an idea, he kicks Blofeld’s cat which jumps into the arms of one Blofeld who James then shoots and kills. Unfortunately another pussycats walks into the room… ‘Right idea Mr. Bond’, the real Blofeld remarks. ‘But wrong Pussy’, concludes Bond.

9. Emile Leopold Locque
Film: FOR YOUR EYES ONLY
Kiss off line: ‘He had no head for heights’

Why Great? Bond kicks this bastard down a ravine for the murder of one of his colleagues. Roger Moore proves that his Bond can also be a cool killer when he needs to be.

8. Dario
Film: LICENCE TO KILL
Kiss off line: None

Why Great? The sadistic Dario ends up in the same cocaine grinder he wanted to put Bond in. This is a way too unpleasant death, even for him. A gruesome detail is that you can hear him cry his master’s name ‘Franz’ in a final call for help. A god awful, agonizing death.

7. Oddjob
Film: GOLDFINGER
Kiss off line: ‘He blew a fuse’

Why Great? Great because it’s his own deadly hat that becomes his undoing. Bond fries Oddjob when he reaches for his hat that is stuck between bars of the Fort Knox vault during their final fight. Oddjob was a toughie, so it is an impressive kill for the mighty James Bond.

6. Xenia Onatopp
Film: GOLDENEYE
Kiss off line: ‘She always did enjoy a good squeeze’

Why Great? In Xenia’s final encounter with Bond on Cuba, she ambushes him and his girl Natalya Simonova by rappelling from a helicopter and trying to squeeze him to death between her legs (she first takes out Natalya with a headbut). However, Bond is able to connect the rope she rappelled down with to her safety harness, grabs her AK-74 rifle, and shoots down the helicopter which then pulls Onatopp off Bond and sends her flying into the crotch of a tree, with her safety harness crushing her to death. How fitting.

5. Hugo Drax
Film: MOONRAKER
Kiss off line: ‘Take a giant step for mankind’

Why Great? He was another villain with a God complex, Drax wanted to wipe out the earth’s population and start a whole new race from space, with specimens he handpicked himself. But Bond ruins his plans and Drax wants to shoot him in revenge. But Bond shoots him first with a poison dart. Before Drax dies, Bond pushes him out of the airlock of his space station; a very suiting death for this space-obsessed lunatic. ‘He had to fly’, Bond later comments when asked what happened to Drax.

4. Franz Sanchez
Film: LICENCE TO KILL
Kiss off line: ‘Don’t you want to know why?’

Why Great? An unlicensed kill really, since Bond lost his licence earlier. Villain Sanchez – who Bond had been trying to extract vengeance upon for the torture of his friend Felix and death of Felix’s wife – is holding a machete to Bond’s head, preparing to slay him. Bond buys some time by explaining Sanchez why he wanted revenge on him. He does so by showing him the lighter Felix gave him as a wedding present. The inscription reads: ‘James. love always. Della and Felix’. Sanchez covered in petrol, realises who Bond is, but before he can respond, Bond sets him aflame. He dies screaming and 007 gets his deserved vengeance.

3. Alec Trevelyan
Film: GOLDENEYE
Kiss off line: ‘For me’

Why Great? Bond is a professional killer, but once in a while he makes a personal kill (Blofeld in FOR YOUR EYES ONLY for example). Killing Alec is probably the most personal kill in his career because Alec was his friend. He betrayed both James and England, and after almost killing Bond a few times, 007 manages to throw him down a mast, only holding him by his feet. ‘For England James?’, asks the defeated Trevelyan. ‘No, for me’, Bond replies and drops Alec to his death.

2. Dr. Kananga
Film: LIVE AND LET DIE
Kiss off line: ‘He always did have an inflated opinion of himself’

Why Great? Bond takes care of baddie Kananga by making him eat a compressed air pattern causing him to blow up like a balloon. This is the first time 007 commits a political assassination, Kananga being a head of state.

1. Elektra King
Film: THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH
Kiss off line: ‘I never miss’

Why Great? This is the first time Bond kills a Bond Girl, who was a major love interest for him. Off course he has good reasons: she wanted to kill him and M after all. Still, it is a cold, professional move by Bond.

Read also:

James Bond: 10 Best Title Sequences

James Bond: 10 Finest Bond Girls

The James Bond Films Rated From Worst To Best (24-11)

In anticipation of SPECTRE, FilmDungeon.com editor Jeppe Kleyngeld lists his favourite things about the James Bond series in 12 unique features. Enjoy!

10. Zao
Film: DIE ANOTHER DAY
Played by: Rick Yune
Quote: ‘How’s that for a punch line?’

Why memorable: This Korean version of pinhead has business with 007 for messing up his face. In DIE ANOTHER DAY, he forms a very strong and fierce opponent for Bond. Finally gets impaled by a falling chandelier in the main villain’s ice palace.

9. Gobinda
Film: OCTOPUSSY
Played by: Kabir Bedi
Quote: ‘The Englishman has escaped!’ [he doesn’t talk very much]

Why memorable: A tall, strong and tough, but silent Sikh. He is the loyal servant and assassin of baddie Kamal Khan in OCTOPUSSY. He performs various duties at Khan’s Monsoon palace, as well as dealing with his master’s enemies, including Bond. Not an easy opponent -obviously- due to his sheer strength and brutal personality.

8. Tee Hee
Film: LIVE AND LET DIE
Played by: Julius W. Harris
Quote: ‘There are two ways to disable a crocodile you know. One way is to take a pencil, and jam it into the pressure hole behind his eye. Oh the other’s twice as simple. You just put your hand in his mouth… and pull his teeth out! Heh, heh’

Why memorable: He is two metres tall, smiles a lot, has a hook for hand… Oh, and he is a big crocodile fan. Tee Hee is the perfect bad guy. His hook is unfortunately also his downfall. Bond disables it when Tee Hee attacks him in the train in the final scene and kicks him out of the window.

7. Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint
Film: DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER
Played by: Putter Smith and Bruce Glover
Quote: Mr. Kidd: ‘If god had wanted man to fly…’ Mr. Wint: ‘…he would have given him wings, Mr. Kidd’

Why memorable: This homosexual couple takes sardonic pleasure at murdering anybody their employer wants dead. Their methods vary from slipping a scorpion down their victim’s neck to blowing their helicopter out of the sky. They get awfully close to killing Bond a few times (especially when they put him in an incinerator), but the problem is they are too sadistic to just simply shoot James, giving him opportunities to escape.

6. Dario
Film: LICENCE TO KILL
Played by: Benicio Del Toro
Quote: ‘Don’t worry. We gave her a nice Honeymooooon…’

Why memorable: Benicio Del Toro, one of the greatest Latino actors around, plays Dario, a real sick puppy who works for drug dealer Sanchez. Dario was with the Contras revolutionaries before finding employment within Sanchez’s cocaine empire, a job that perfectly suits his sadistic needs. Del Toro was only 21 when he portrayed this stiletto wielding sicko. It is a great performance; every line that comes out of his mouth has real venom in it. Dario is a truly scary opponent for 007.

5. Xenia Onatopp
Film: GOLDENEYE
Played by: Famke Janssen
Quote: ‘Enjoy it while it lasts’

Why memorable: Dutch actress Famke Janssen portrays the woman with the meanest thighs in cinema history. She uses them to give opponents of her employer – the Janus Syndicate – the finest death imaginable. Nearly gets an orgasm from shooting a bunch of Russian computer programmers. This tough former fighter pilot is hard to defeat, but eventually gets strangled herself when Bond shoots down the helicopter she is attached to by wire.

4. Fatima Blush
Film: NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN
Played by: Barbara Carrera
Quote: [holding Bond at gun point] ‘You’re quite a man, Mr. James Bond, but I am a superior woman. Guess where you get the first one?’

Why memorable: Femme fatales are pretty rare in the Bond universe and Fatima Blush is a particularly delicious one, so she deserves a strong position here. Fatima dresses in black and red, is sexy and beautiful, keeps a snake for company and is violently and psychotically crazy. Vanity is her fatal flaw; she forces Bond to confess on paper that she gave him the finest sexual experience of his life, providing him with the golden opportunity to kill her.

3. Donald Grant
Film: FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE
Played by: Robert Shaw
Quote: ‘You may know the right wines, but you’re the one on your knees’

Why memorable: Donald Grant, convicted murderer. Escaped Dartmoor Prison in 1960. Recruited by SPECTRE in Tangiers in 1962. Grant is an excellent killer and a worthy opponent for Bond. A real übermensch; blonde, athletic, strong and emotionless. His fatal flaw is talking too much rather than just shooting his target.

2. Oddjob
Film: GOLDFINGER
Played by: Harold Sakata
Quote: ‘Urchhh’

Why memorable: ‘He is an admirable manservant but mute. And not a very good caddy.’ That is Auric Goldfinger’s description of his Korean henchman Oddjob. We would describe him as a near indestructible brute who can wield his razor-sharp hat like a lethal weapon. ‘Remarkable’, says Bond, when Oddjob decapitates a statue at the golf club. ‘But what does the club secretary have to say?’

1. Jaws
Film: THE SPY WHO LOVED ME and MOONRAKER
Played by: Richard Kiel
Quote: ‘Well, here’s to us’ [in MOONRAKER, his only line in the movies.]

Why memorable: Indestructible, steel-mouthed brute who can bite his way through metal as easy as flesh. Works as a hitman for whoever wants to hire him. Basically survives anything, including a dive of a cliff, an explosion and a swim with a lethal shark (he bites the shark to death instead of the other way around). Jaws is the only henchman that appears in more than one movie. Halfway through his second appearance in MOONRAKER, he switches sides when he falls in love with a girl. Still the greatest henchman ever.