Big night.

In a few hours seeing the latest Bond SPECTREcle, as a completion of my major 007 project. Quite a happy prospect.

It is also an existential quest, as always. My parents in law are moving out of town. They sold their place to a crazy Chinese Dutch entrepreneur, and will move to Vijfhuizen early February next year. This will be the last night I’m crashing here. Me and my little girl.

The pieces are always moving. Constantly. It is enough to drive any man crazy. Still searching for a littl’ bit of purpose, eh? Yesterday, I attended a conference for credit managers. Does that sound depressing? Not to me, I’m used to it. But… I did witness this kind of odd, kind of scary phenomenon. A Dutch super star CFO, yes they do exist, who made it big in Switzerland as finance chief of a major logistics company, attended the conference. He did a session on global working capital, which I covered for my finance platform. In the room, there were about 20 credit managers, 25 tops. And the CFO started the session by saying he reached the age of 66 and recently retired… So what right?

Now here’s the scary part. If this guy – who made it to the board of a multinational, and was in charge of thousands of people, and billions of euro’s worth of assets – is now doing speeches for a bunch of credit controllers, if that is his future, then WHAT THE HELL IS MY FUTURE GONNA LOOK LIKE? Or for any other sad chap around me? Yes, even for the likes of Brad Pitt. Because if that guy completed a movie… let’s say Se7en. He completed Se7en and it’s a huge hit, right? And for a while this mofo is the hottest shit on the planet, and everything’s great for him, BUT then this tropical wind of bliss will blow over, people will move over to the Next Gigantic Thing, and Pitt Boy will be left a sorry ass wanker. A sad tad. Yes, it is true. It is true because it’s experience.

There is nothing you can do. No way to become immortal. I don’t care if your name is Michael Jordan, Steve Jobs or Freddie Mercury. Today it is SPECTRE. Tomorrow some other big thing will come along. Welcome to human existence.

There is a cure though: alcohol.

I am sitting in the bar of the Krasnapolsky right now ordering wine 7 euro’s a glass. One after the other… I am meeting my homeboy Willem in 20 minutes. Then we’ll grab a bite and check in for my childhood hero. My hero still… I’ll report afterwards.

Editor’s Note: The rest of the notebook consists of nothing but incomprehensible scratchings. There is only one sentence readable. It says: ‘Live raw and always live in the moment’.