Brainfood: A JK Screenplay (synopsis)

Recently, I released a precious childhood amateur film of mine called Brains For Breakfast. If you haven’t seen it yet, feel free to check it out by clicking the icon below.

It’s still a dream of mine to one day expand this short horror-comedy into a full-length feature. To that end, I’ve developed a treatment for a screenplay. If you’re interested in getting involved in any way, I’d love to hear from you – just reach out at jeponline@hotmail.com.

BRAINFOOD — Treatment

Genre: Comedy / Horror / Science Fiction / Action
Setting: The Netherlands (alternative universe) – Bergen, Heiloo, Alkmaar, Schermer Region

Tagline: The ultimate drug in the galaxy has been found… and they want it.

LOGLINE
In an alternate Netherlands where alien encounters are routine, a disgraced psi-soldier must rejoin his disbanded elite unit to stop a violent race of interdimensional drug-hunters from stealing the most powerful psychedelic ever created.

SYNOPSIS

A Violent Return
In a parallel universe version of the Netherlands – an English-speaking, militarized, right-wing nation used to alien visitors – an aggressive alien race known as the Atomics breaches into Earth via a ‘Dimension Traveller’ device.

Primitive in appearance – some resemble lizards, some skeletons, some monkeys and the leader – Taurus – a bull –.the Atomics wear long dusters and wield antique-looking rifles. They land in the dunes near Bergen, killing a dune ranger and parasitizing another using a leech-like creature that implants a mind-controlling worm through the ear.

On their way to their concealed base, they murder a police officer, triggering a national military alert.

General Glorious, the army chief responsible for alien containment, recognizes the race instantly. The Atomics were here two years ago, on a drug-harvesting mission for Netherweed, and escaped with their stash despite heavy casualties inflicted by the elite Psychedelic Unit, a special-forces team of psi-sensitive soldiers.

A Broken Hero
One of the Psychedelic Unit’s finest, Max Crunch, has spent the past two years at home in the small rural village of Schermer, crippled by PTSD. He feels alienated, mocked by locals, and increasingly distant from his girlfriend Nina. His psychiatrist has given him an ‘anchor’ technique to keep him grounded during flashbacks, but his trauma remains unresolved.

When the government cuts off his benefits and Nina leaves him, Max reluctantly answers the army’s summons. General Glorious reveals that the Atomics have returned and the Psychedelic Unit must be reassembled. If Max helps, he’ll receive permanent paid leave afterward. Reluctantly, Max agrees.

Reforming the Psychedelic Unit
Max reunites with the scattered members of his old team:

• Captain Jimmie Lombardo – alpha-male, tough, impatient, the unit’s brash leader.
• Henry ‘Cowboy’ Waterman – laconic sharpshooter in a cowboy hat.
• Steve ‘Suicide Steve’ Hoskins – fearless, volatile, and racist and fascist tendencies.
• Thomas ‘Tank’ Larson – the team’s powerhouse
• Olaf ‘Bulldog’ Braat – sniper with perfect accuracy

The group once used the substance Daylyrium, enabling psychic attunement and interspecies telepathic tracking. But this time, Max can’t make a connection at the scene of the cop killing – the Atomics are clearly using psi-blockers.

With telepathy off the table, the squad turns to old-school detective work: Find the drugs, find the aliens.

The New Drug
They discover that eccentric chemist Dr. Schnobel has invented the ultimate psychedelic, dubbed Entheogen, a liquid that dissolves the ego and induces cosmic unity. Rejected by corporate drug monopolies, Schnobel distributed product through two major dealers, called Frans Hario and Teeg Brown.

Unbeknownst to humanity, Alien scouts monitoring Earth’s drug trade identified Entheogen as the most valuable substance in the galaxy. In response, the Atomics sent a forty-soldier strike team to harvest the drug and abduct its creator.

Two Raids
The Psychedelic Unit and the Atomics both converge on the dealers:
• At Hario’s home, a chaotic gunfight erupts. The squad kills all Atomics on site and captures Frans.

• At Teeg Brown’s, the Atomics strike first and abduct Brown without resistance.

Interrogation leads both sides to the same destination: Dr. Schnobel’s lab.

Ambush by the Terrifying Five
Taurus anticipates pursuit and dispatches the Atomics’ elite hunters – The Terrifying Five – to ambush the Psychedelic Unit. The squad barely survives the devastating encounter, but Schnobel is abducted and brought to the Atomics’ commandeered villa base in the forests of Heiloo.

There, Schnobel is forced to teach an Atomic chemist the formula for Entheogen, while the villa’s parasitized owner serves as a puppet caretaker.

The Oracle of Bergen
With leads running dry, Max suggests visiting The Oracle of Bergen, a powerful psychic buried waist-deep in a forest hill, clad in a Hawaiian shirt and aviator shades, flanked by two similarly dressed psychic companions.

The Oracle reveals:
• The Atomics are master chemists from Atom X, a devastated world stripped of natural resources.
• Another alien race gifted them the Dimension Traveller to scavenge resources from other worlds.
• The Atomics’ return, and the showdown to come, is part of a cosmic design.
• Their leader is Taurus, the same figure responsible for Max’s trauma.

Max’s PTSD surges at the mention of Taurus.

But the Oracle also gives the squad the Atomics’ exact location.

The Assault on the Villa
The team launches a coordinated three-front assault:
• Max and Steve attack through dense forest.
• Jimmie and Cowboy approach from a rear field.
• Tank and Bulldog hold the front to intercept escapees.

Fierce firefights rage as both teams carve their way toward the villa.

Schnobel completes the Entheogen formula, but Taurus prepares to flee. He releases the Terrifying Five once more. The squad manages to kill them, but Cowboy falls in battle, enraging Suicide Steve into a berserker and foreigner hating rampage.

Taurus escapes with the Entheogen sample and formula, fleeing in the same van the Atomics used upon arrival. Bulldog manages to plant a tracker before Taurus escapes.

Showdown in the Dunes
Max takes the tracker and pursues Taurus alone. In the dunes, Max is attacked by the mind-controlled dune ranger. Back at the villa, Jimmie kills the leech-creature controlling the ranger, and the ranger dies instantly. Max continues the chase.

Taurus reaches the Dimension Traveller, a lift-like mechanism atop a dune. Before he can signal home, Max confronts him and a traumatic flashback hits:

Two years earlier, during the first invasion, Max and the squad pursued Taurus to a similar base. Among the team then was Max’s younger brother Patrick Crunch. Patrick was parasitized and attacked Max, who was forced to shoot his own brother. Taurus laughed as he escaped with stolen Netherweed.

Back to the present. Both characters draw their guns and Max blows Taurus his brains out.

A Gift for Atom X
At the Atomics’ base on barren Atom X, Taurus appears to call home. But it’s actually Max holding up Taurus’s severed face to the camera, mimicking his grunt. The Atomics activate the teleportation system.

Instead of Taurus, the bag of C4 appears and detonates. The Atomic base is obliterated.

Enlightenment on the Lawn
Max returns to the villa. Dr. Schnobel lies dying, but hands Jimmie one final vial of Entheogen:

“Take it together. This is enlightenment in a bottle.”

Jimmie proposes sharing the drug with the last surviving Atomics they captured. Steve objects, but the others agree.

On the villa lawn, surrounded by the bodies of friends and foes alike, the five surviving members of the Psychedelic Unit sit with five captured Atomics. They ingest the Entheogen together.

As the purple sky stretches endlessly above them, they gaze upward, united in a moment of pure transcendence.

For the first time, they truly understand: they are all one.

A JK Classic Re-Release: Brains For Breakfast (2000)

On my YouTube channel, Jeppy’s Video Circus, I usually post short videos in three categories.

The first is pop culture features, like Schwarzenegger’s 100 Greatest Kills and Ranking the Top 100 Beatles Songs.

The second is experimental shorts, such as Passenger and Light Parade.

The third category is amateur movies I made during my childhood, including A Bad Trip and Nicky and Mugs.

I’ve just released another one called Brains For Breakfast and this one might be my favorite.

The Amateur
The unfinished video was shot in 2000, about halfway through my five-year stretch as an amateur filmmaker.

That period began in 1998, when my buddy Jean-Marc and I took a two-week videomaking course in Charme, France, taught by the Amsterdam-based Open Studio. They taught us the basics of filmmaking: camera work, directing, editing, screenwriting – the whole package.

The following year, I shot a number of shorts with my friends in Heiloo, including Nicky and Mugs and A Bad Trip. Many unfinished projects from that time still live in the dusty archives of my desktop.

In an upcoming short called Dreaming of HeilooWeed, I plan to edit those fragments into a medley of our unfinished amateur films.

In 2000, we created what I consider the highlight of that era: Brains For Breakfast, which is now available on YouTube.

That same year, I also traveled through India and Nepal, where I shot a two-hour travel movie.

In 2001, my friends and I spent three months in Thailand, where I filmed another travel documentary – though calling it a ‘travel movie’ doesn’t quite do it justice. It’s part Jackass, part comic meditation on backpacking. I plan to edit it into a half-hour YouTube version next year, titled 2001: A Thailand Odyssey.

By 2002, my movie career had started to fade, and I moved on to other things. I made a few videos that year, but nothing particularly noteworthy.

That is, until 2020 – when I picked up filmmaking again as a hobby.

About Brains For Breakfast
Brains For Breakfast
can best be described as a horror-comedy, heavily inspired by Peter Jackson (Bad Taste) and Sam Raimi (The Evil Dead).

The story follows weed dealer Jimmie Lombardo, who suddenly finds himself in the middle of an alien invasion, one with the sole purpose of stealing Dutch weed.

What I love most about it is the humor. There are some genuinely funny moments, along with a few surprisingly effective scenes, like the one where an alien shoots a guy on a bicycle from a balcony.

I also have a soft spot for all the amateurish mistakes: jumping the axis, catching the cameraman’s shadow, or scenes that shift from early evening to near-dark in the blink of an eye. All of it adds to the charm and hilarity.

Since the film was never finished, I decided to create an ending by adding a short ‘making-of’ segment, showing us trying to pull off one of our great ‘special effects’.

I’m happy with how it turned out, and I hope you’ll enjoy it too. Check out Brains For Breakfast below on YouTube!

Special Release: A Bad Trip (1999)

The latest release on my YouTube channel is the 17:13 minute short A Bad Trip (1999). One of the highlights of my career as an amateur filmmaker. I am currently working on the redux of another highlight, the feature length De Gako’s in Thailand (2001), but won’t be able to release it publically due to the extensive use of music (A Bad Trip only has three musical tracks that I have replaced by licenced music).

A Bad Trip is an in-camera-edited short about a drug user Sjakie (my old buddy Boris Bruin) who buys wrong pills from the local dealer Eddie (played by yours truly) and enters into a nightmarish trip. I have improved the edit by removing a few bits and pieces and adding the odd sound effect. I also added subtitles. It is one of the few fictional shorts that I have made that actually tells a complete story with a beginning and an ending.

Reviewing it today, 22 years later, I can see my lack of experience at that point. The camera work is of inconsistent quality and contains quite a few beginner mistakes, like jumping the line. However there are some very nice shots and camera moves as well as a bit of camera trickery.

The acting is – well amateuristic at best – but consider that we shot it in four afternoons and many scenes are built up from one-take shots with dialogues improvised at the spot. Since a lot of focus was on the timing of the shots (we had to edit in-camera, since I had no editing equipment at the time), the acting got far less attention.

What I like most about the short is the scenery from my childhood. Sjakie’s house is my parental house in Heiloo and all other interiors are the houses of my friends. The point-of-sale of dealer Eddie is the first school I attended. And the woods in Heiloo (my Heilooweed) have a unique atmosphere to them. I love those woods.

Working on this project has wetted my appetite for amateur filmmaking. It is still my dream to one day shoot Brainfood, which would be the biggest amateur movie ever attempted. It is about a race of aliens secretly invading the Netherlands to steal our drugs. Then a special military squad is ordered to find them and exterminate them. It is currently budgeted at 150.000 euros, so for the foreseeable future it will remain a dream.

To be continued, I hope….

A Bad Trip (1999, The Netherlands)
Directed by: Jeppe Kleijngeld
Cast: Boris Bruin, Ben Bouwens, Jeppe Kleijngeld
Length: 17:13 mins.

Sjakie buys two pills from dealer Eddie which cause a nightmarish trip. There is only one person who can help him get out of it…

Lucid in the Sky with Diamonds

Het is ochtend of middag. Ik ben in mijn oude vertrouwde ouderlijk huis in Heiloo. Hoe ik hier terecht ben gekomen weet ik niet. Ik loop de trap af, de woonkamer in en richting de keuken. En dan zie ik opeens door het keukenraam een gigantische komodovaraan lopen. Ik draai me om en zie dat er twee kleinere exemplaren op de paarse bank zitten – dezelfde bank waar ik het die middag met mijn vader over gehad heb, de bank die mijn ouders opnieuw gaan laten bekleden.

Ik wil mijn ontdekking graag delen en begin te roepen: ‘Papa, mama, Loesje, Rosa!’. Niemand reageert. Ik loop snel naar het halletje en zie Rosa en mijn moeder vanuit de voortuin richting het huis komen samen met een hippievrouw. Ze dragen kartonnen dozen. ‘Kom snel’, roep ik. Rosa komt met me mee naar de keuken en mijn vader is er ook opeens. In de keuken wijs ik door het raam naar buiten en zij zien nu ook de gigantische groene draak lopen.

Dan bedenk ik me opeens in paniek dat komodo’s, wanneer ze hongerig zijn, ook mensen eten. Ik sprint naar het halletje en sluit mijn moeder en de hippievrouw op. Dan ren ik terug naar de keuken en sluit ik mezelf, Rosa en m’n vader op. Vervolgens trek ik twee messen uit het keukenblok. De adrenaline giert door m’n lijf. ‘Jij maakt je druk’, zegt mijn pa. ‘Ja, natuurlijk maak ik me druk’, roep ik. ‘Dat zijn komodovaranen!’

Dan krijg ik een raar gevoel, er iets iets vreemds aan dit hele scenario. Hoezo zijn er komodo’s in Heiloo? En dan – in een flits – weet ik het: dit is een droom! Ik geef mezelf een knipoog. Wat nu? Eerst stabiliseren. Ik draai 360 graden en roep ‘stabilize!’. Zo, mijn droomomgeving wordt stabiel (minder wazig). Nu kan ik mijn plan uitvoeren. Ik heb van te voren met mezelf afgesproken wat ik zou doen als ik lucide zou worden, namelijk vliegen in Schermerhorn. Ik geef Rosa een kus op haar wang en loop de keuken uit. Ik sta nu in een soort witte gang waar verder helemaal niks is: het doet denken aan The Matrix. Aan het einde van de gang is een soort energierooster. Ik ren er op af en spring er doorheen….

Dan ben ik in Schermerhorn, het nieuwbouwgedeelte. Yes, het is gelukt. Ik ben enorm opgewonden; ik zie voetgangers lopen, allemaal creaties van mijn eigen geest. Dan begin ik met vliegen – de op één na favoriete bezigheid van lucide dromers. Maar in plaats van rustig op te stijgen, ga ik af als een raket. Hier heb ik over gelezen. Je hebt invloed over een deel van je droomomgeving als je lucide bent, maar veel dingen gebeuren ook vanzelf. Bovendien is vliegen echt een vaardigheid waarvoor je eerst op les moet.

Ik zie het dorp onder me steeds kleiner worden en gil alsof ik in een achtbaan zit (ik gil alleen in mijn droom, van de buitenkant is er behalve REM-slaap niks aan lucide dromers te zien). Voor het eerst hoog vliegen is doodeng, maar ik vertel mezelf steeds; je kunt niet te pletter vallen. Ik droom. Rustig maar. Ik geniet van de rest van mijn vlucht boven het dorp en prachtige bloemenvelden. Het voelt 100 procent echt! Dan ben ik weer op de grond. Ik zweef nog een stukje over de straat en dan word ik wakker. ‘Yes, het is gelukt!’

Hoe word je lucide?
Mijn eerste lucide droom kreeg ik spontaan nadat ik van mijn neef Quinten had gehoord over de mogelijkheid. Daarna heb ik het boek A Field Guide to Lucid Dreaming gelezen over hoe je lucide dromen kunt opwekken. Ik heb er een maand en vijf dagen over gedaan om dit resultaat te bereiken.

De volgende vier technieken zijn cruciaal om lucide te dromen:

1. Dream recall: Alle dromen noteren in de dagboek en er bewust aan werken ze te onthouden. Dit doe je door niet meteen op te staan, maar even te blijven liggen na het wakker worden en alles naar boven te halen van de afgelopen nacht. Vervolgens noteer je ze zo gedetailleerd mogelijk in je droomdagboek. Na een tijdje leer je droomsignalen herkennen (mensen, symbolen en situaties die vaak in je dromen voorkomen) en die kunnen vervolgens triggers zijn van het Aha-moment.

2. Reality checks: Vraag je gedurende de dag steeds af; droom ik nu of niet? Stel vast of je je in een Newtoniaanse omgeving bevindt waar alles vast lijkt, of dat de omgeving steeds verandert. Probeer te zweven. Probeer je vinger door je handpalm te steken. Houd je adem in en kijk of dit een probleem is. Wanneer je dit 10-20 keer per dag doet, ga je het vanzelf ook in je dromen doen.

3. Visualiseren van Aha-moment: Net als een topskiër een afdaling vele malen visualiseert in zijn hoofd, doe je dat ook met lucide dromen. Gebruik al je zintuigen om in te beelden hoe je ontdekt dat je droomt en wat je vervolgens gaat doen. Je hersenen maken niet het onderscheid tussen visualiseren en de echte ervaring.

4. Wake-back-to-bed: Lucide dromen vinden uitsluitend plaats in REM-slaap, en die cycli zijn ‘s ochtend het langste. Ga twee uur voor je op moet een kwartier uit bed en maak je linker, analytische hersenhelft wakker door bijvoorbeeld wat te lezen over lucide dromen. Ga wel rustig zitten zodat je lichaam moe blijft. Ga vervolgens weer slapen. Mijn lucide droom kwam ook na een wake-back om 7:45 ‘s ochtends.

Deze korte ervaring is alle moeite meer dan waard geweest, en ik ben mijn volgende expeditie al aan het plannen. Nu nog het hoofdstuk over vliegen een keer doorlezen…