James Bond: 10 Greatest Henchmen

Posted on 15 oktober 2015 by Jeppe Kleijngeld

In anticipation of SPECTRE, FilmDungeon.com editor Jeppe Kleyngeld lists his favourite things about the James Bond series in 12 unique features. Enjoy!

10. Zao
Film: DIE ANOTHER DAY
Played by: Rick Yune
Quote: ‘How’s that for a punch line?’

Why memorable: This Korean version of pinhead has business with 007 for messing up his face. In DIE ANOTHER DAY, he forms a very strong and fierce opponent for Bond. Finally gets impaled by a falling chandelier in the main villain’s ice palace.

9. Gobinda
Film: OCTOPUSSY
Played by: Kabir Bedi
Quote: ‘The Englishman has escaped!’ [he doesn’t talk very much]

Why memorable: A tall, strong and tough, but silent Sikh. He is the loyal servant and assassin of baddie Kamal Khan in OCTOPUSSY. He performs various duties at Khan’s Monsoon palace, as well as dealing with his master’s enemies, including Bond. Not an easy opponent -obviously- due to his sheer strength and brutal personality.

8. Tee Hee
Film: LIVE AND LET DIE
Played by: Julius W. Harris
Quote: ‘There are two ways to disable a crocodile you know. One way is to take a pencil, and jam it into the pressure hole behind his eye. Oh the other’s twice as simple. You just put your hand in his mouth… and pull his teeth out! Heh, heh’

Why memorable: He is two metres tall, smiles a lot, has a hook for hand… Oh, and he is a big crocodile fan. Tee Hee is the perfect bad guy. His hook is unfortunately also his downfall. Bond disables it when Tee Hee attacks him in the train in the final scene and kicks him out of the window.

7. Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint
Film: DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER
Played by: Putter Smith and Bruce Glover
Quote: Mr. Kidd: ‘If god had wanted man to fly…’ Mr. Wint: ‘…he would have given him wings, Mr. Kidd’

Why memorable: This homosexual couple takes sardonic pleasure at murdering anybody their employer wants dead. Their methods vary from slipping a scorpion down their victim’s neck to blowing their helicopter out of the sky. They get awfully close to killing Bond a few times (especially when they put him in an incinerator), but the problem is they are too sadistic to just simply shoot James, giving him opportunities to escape.

6. Dario
Film: LICENCE TO KILL
Played by: Benicio Del Toro
Quote: ‘Don’t worry. We gave her a nice Honeymooooon…’

Why memorable: Benicio Del Toro, one of the greatest Latino actors around, plays Dario, a real sick puppy who works for drug dealer Sanchez. Dario was with the Contras revolutionaries before finding employment within Sanchez’s cocaine empire, a job that perfectly suits his sadistic needs. Del Toro was only 21 when he portrayed this stiletto wielding sicko. It is a great performance; every line that comes out of his mouth has real venom in it. Dario is a truly scary opponent for 007.

5. Xenia Onatopp
Film: GOLDENEYE
Played by: Famke Janssen
Quote: ‘Enjoy it while it lasts’

Why memorable: Dutch actress Famke Janssen portrays the woman with the meanest thighs in cinema history. She uses them to give opponents of her employer – the Janus Syndicate – the finest death imaginable. Nearly gets an orgasm from shooting a bunch of Russian computer programmers. This tough former fighter pilot is hard to defeat, but eventually gets strangled herself when Bond shoots down the helicopter she is attached to by wire.

4. Fatima Blush
Film: NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN
Played by: Barbara Carrera
Quote: [holding Bond at gun point] ‘You’re quite a man, Mr. James Bond, but I am a superior woman. Guess where you get the first one?’

Why memorable: Femme fatales are pretty rare in the Bond universe and Fatima Blush is a particularly delicious one, so she deserves a strong position here. Fatima dresses in black and red, is sexy and beautiful, keeps a snake for company and is violently and psychotically crazy. Vanity is her fatal flaw; she forces Bond to confess on paper that she gave him the finest sexual experience of his life, providing him with the golden opportunity to kill her.

3. Donald Grant
Film: FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE
Played by: Robert Shaw
Quote: ‘You may know the right wines, but you’re the one on your knees’

Why memorable: Donald Grant, convicted murderer. Escaped Dartmoor Prison in 1960. Recruited by SPECTRE in Tangiers in 1962. Grant is an excellent killer and a worthy opponent for Bond. A real übermensch; blonde, athletic, strong and emotionless. His fatal flaw is talking too much rather than just shooting his target.

2. Oddjob
Film: GOLDFINGER
Played by: Harold Sakata
Quote: ‘Urchhh’

Why memorable: ‘He is an admirable manservant but mute. And not a very good caddy.’ That is Auric Goldfinger’s description of his Korean henchman Oddjob. We would describe him as a near indestructible brute who can wield his razor-sharp hat like a lethal weapon. ‘Remarkable’, says Bond, when Oddjob decapitates a statue at the golf club. ‘But what does the club secretary have to say?’

1. Jaws
Film: THE SPY WHO LOVED ME and MOONRAKER
Played by: Richard Kiel
Quote: ‘Well, here’s to us’ [in MOONRAKER, his only line in the movies.]

Why memorable: Indestructible, steel-mouthed brute who can bite his way through metal as easy as flesh. Works as a hitman for whoever wants to hire him. Basically survives anything, including a dive of a cliff, an explosion and a swim with a lethal shark (he bites the shark to death instead of the other way around). Jaws is the only henchman that appears in more than one movie. Halfway through his second appearance in MOONRAKER, he switches sides when he falls in love with a girl. Still the greatest henchman ever.

Read also:

James Bond: 10 Best Pre-Credit Scenes

James Bond: 10 Greatest Licensed Kills

James Bond: Top 10 Gadgets

James Bond: Top 10 Vehicles

Posted on 11 oktober 2015 by Jeppe Kleijngeld

In anticipation of SPECTRE, FilmDungeon.com editor Jeppe Kleyngeld lists his favourite things about the James Bond series in 12 unique features. Enjoy!

10. BMW Z3

Film: GOLDENEYE
Why Great? Who can explain it better than Q? Agile, five forward gears, all-point radar. Self-destruct system. And, naturally, all the usual refinements. Behind the headlights, Stinger missiles. It is a shame that this blue beauty is mostly driven by Bond’s CIA-buddy Jack Wade, and 007 told him ‘not to touch any buttons.’

9. British Balloon

Film: OCTOPUSSY
Why Great? This balloon is used to attack villain Kamal Khan’s hideout. Why is it great? We get to see Q in action for one thing. And it has her majesty’s flag, which is the best flag in the world, so thumbs up for this one, Q.

8. BMW 750iL

Film: TOMORROW NEVER DIES
Why Great? The look of the 750 is not the best BMW ever came up with, but the gadgetry Q came up with is. All the usual refinements – machine guns, a roof-mounted rocket launcher, self-sealing and re-inflating tires, a cable cutting device in the front hood emblem and a caltrop dispenser – are there. Add to that a GPS-tracking system with remote control. Bond uses it during a chase sequence in the Atlantic Hotel parking garage. Despite its armour that can easily withstand sledgehammer blows, the car sadly doesn’t make it to the end of the film.

7. Q’s Fishing Boat

Film: THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH
Why Great? Hey, it’s Q’s boat, need we say more? Well it’s green for one thing, and it can achieve 80mph on the water. During the making of THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH, it was discovered only by accident that its 350 horsepower engines could literally force the bow of the boat under water. The move was subsequently written into the film.

6. Acrostar Jet

Film: OCTOPUSSY
Why Great? The Acrostar Jet, also known as BD-5 Micro, is the world’s lightest jet aircraft. It has remarkable speed and Bond does the handling fantastically in the opening sequence of OCTOPUSSY. He manages to outmanoeuvre a heat seeking missile that he then uses to destroy the enemy base. He then takes it to the gas station. ‘Fill her up, please.’ Now, that’s James Bond.

5. Lotus Esprit

Film: THE SPY WHO LOVED ME
Why Great? Another great car with a few amazing accessories, very suitable for this marine oriented entry in the Bond series. It is a small submarine as well as a super fast sports car. And naturally, it is loaded with missiles for uninvited guests.

4. Aston Martin Vanquish

Film: DIE ANOTHER DAY
Why Great? Bond’s favourite car now has adaptive camouflage. Tiny camera’s on all sides project the image they see onto a light-emitting polymer skin on the opposite side. Furthermore is has all the usual features PLUS added target seeking shotguns. Not bad for a new Q (John Cleese took over from Desmond Llewelyn in this movie).

3. Jetpack

Film: THUNDERBALL
Why Great? Bond uses the jetpack during an escape from gunmen in the pre-credit sequence of THUNDERBALL. It just comes so unexpected, which makes it surprising besides spectacular. The Jetpack is actually a Bell Aerosystems Rocketbelt model, a fully functional rocket pack device. It was designed for use in the army, but was rejected because of its short flying time of approximately 21 seconds. Powered by hydrogen peroxide, it could fly about 250 meters and reach a maximum altitude of 18 meters, going 55 kilometres an hour and providing 1000 brake horsepower. Despite its impracticality in the real world, the Jetpack makes a spectacular debut in THUNDERBALL.

2. Little Nellie

Film: YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE
Why Great? Little Nellie and her father Q arrive in Japan halfway YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE to aid Bond in his mission. Once Little Nellie is put together, it appears to be a toy helicopter, but it’s certainly not. She is equipped with two machine guns, two rockets launchers that fire heat seeking air-to-air missiles, two flame throwers firing astern, two smoke ejectors and a bunch of aerial mines, only to use directly above target. Little Nellie is ready for action and she gets some soon after. Nice.

1. Aston Martin DB5

Films: GOLDFINGER, THUNDERBALL, GOLDENEYE, TOMMOROW NEVER DIES, THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH, CASINO ROYALE, SKYFALL

Why Great? The Aston Martin is perhaps Bond’s most famous ride. It is just a fine and classy automobile. Off course, Bond’s model usually features some Q modifications. As described in GOLDFINGER: Windscreen bulletproof, as are the side and rear windows. Revolving number plates valid in all countries. A tracking device. Smoke screen, oil slick and left and right front wing machine guns. The highlight according to ‘Q’: The passenger ejector seat, which Bond puts to good use in GOLDFINGER. The car gets an occasional upgrade in later films.

Read also:

James Bond: 10 Greatest Henchmen

James Bond: Top 20 Action Sequences

The James Bond Films Rated From Worst To Best (Top 10)

James Bond: 10 Finest Bond Girls

Posted on 7 oktober 2015 by Jeppe Kleijngeld

In anticipation of SPECTRE, FilmDungeon.com editor Jeppe Kleyngeld lists his favourite things about the James Bond series in 12 unique features. Enjoy!

10. Christmas Jones
Film: THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH
Played by: Denise Richards
Quote: ‘Was that a Christmas joke?’

How fine? Well very fine, but still Christmas is often considered to be the worst Bond Girl ever. Audiences should reconsider. Just look at those legs in her first appearance! Holy Jesus!! Off course it is ridiculous that this character is a nuclear scientist, but who cares about these things anyway? This was the first Bond film to win a Razzie as Denise Richards got one in the category Worst Supporting Actress.

9. Solitaire
Film: LIVE AND LET DIE
Played by: Jane Seymour
Quote: ‘The cards tell nothing to those who cannot see.’

How fine? ‘And Solitaire’s the only game in town…’ And she is fair game for Bond because her current boyfriend is fiendish druglord Kananga. Solitaire is a tarot reader who is initially confused when she draws the lovers’ card when reading for James, but soon she gives in to the romance. This beautiful, delicate woman is portrayed by the extraordinarily fine (and appropriately named for the part) Jane Seymour (See More get it?). Solitaire’s mother also worked for Kananga, but lost her power and became useless to him. Solitaire seems to be heading for a similar tragic fate, but luckily she meets James and all ends well for her. Check out Solitaire’s High Priestess tarot card, it is in the likeness of actress Jane Seymour.

8. Andrea Anders
Film: THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN
Played by: Maud Adams
Quote: ‘I’ve dreamt about you setting me free….’

How fine? The stunning Swedish born ex-model Maud Adams plays Andrea. She is the highly attractive mistress of super assassin Scaramanga, but wants to get rid of him. She strongly believes that James is the man for the job. Unfortunately Scaramanga finds out about her betrayal and offs her. What a total waste! And Bond only had the chance to make love to her once. Luckily actress Maud Adams returns in OCTOPUSSY.

7. Natalya Simonova
Film: GOLDENEYE
Played by: Izabella Scorupco
Quote: ‘Do you destroy every vehicle you get into?’

How fine? Very cute Russian lady who has both the brains and the beauty. She worked as a Level 2 programmer at the Severnaya facility of the Russian Space Forces, and didn’t lose her cool when the treacherous General Ouromov and associate Xenia Onatopp caused a bloodbath within the facility. As the knowledgeable sole survivor, she is the perfect partner for James to take on his mission to track the missing GoldenEye satellite. As an intermezzo, they make love a few times.

6. Major Anya Amasova / Agent XXX
Film: THE SPY WHO LOVED ME
Played by: Barbara Bach
Quote: ‘Commander James Bond, recruited to the British Secret Service from the Royal Navy. Licensed to kill and has done so on numerous occasions.’

How fine? In Anya Amasova, Bond has met his equal. She is tough, professional and pretty. Initially, she wants to kill Bond as revenge for the death of her lover (also an agent). But after she executed a mission with James, she can no longer resist his charm. The perfect spy romance.

5. Contessa Teresa di Vicenzo
Film: ON HER MAJESTY’S SECRET SERVICE
Played by: Diana Rigg
Quote: ‘The only thing you need to know about me is that I pay my debts.’

How fine? When we first meet Contessa Teresa di Vicenzo, known as Tracy, she wants to commit suicide by walking into the Ocean, but she is rescued by James. This troubled girl is the daughter of a powerful business man and is used to getting all that she desires, but she is unhappy nonetheless. Until she falls in love with James and he with her. It is easy to see why. She is kind and has this sort of majestic beauty, so when Bond asks her to marry him, it feels 100% natural. Only tragically it cannot last. Right after the wedding she is shot and killed by Blofeld’s partner in crime Irma Bunt.

4. Pussy Galore
Film: GOLDFINGER
Played by: Honor Blackman
Quote: ‘You can turn off the charm. I’m immune.’

How fine? True, her name is a bit embarrassing, but whenever Bond calls her Pussy, it sounds like beautiful music. Pussy is a great pilot and very sexy. She works for the bad guy initially, but switches sides halfway after her intermezzo with James in the stables. The character is probably based on Blanche Blackwell, a Jamaican of Anglo-Jewish descent, who is thought to have been the lover of Bond creator Ian Fleming during his later life.

3. Melina Havelock
Film: FOR YOUR EYES ONLY
Played by: Carole Bouquet
Quote: ‘I don’t expect you to understand, you’re English, but I’m half Greek and Greek woman like Elektra always avenge their loved ones!’

How fine? Melina Havelock is a black-haired Greek beauty that is passionate about taking revenge on the murderers of her parents. Armed with a crossbow, she sets out to find them and meets James underway. He naturally falls for her beauty (that hair, my god!). And she falls for him as well, but not before she has had her revenge. Then he gets to see her whole beauty, but not the viewers. ‘For your eyes only, darling.’

2. Vesper Lynd
Film: CASINO ROYALE
Played by: Eva Green
Quote: ‘Am I going to have a problem with you, Mr. Bond?’

How fine? Vesper Lynd is a classy girl with a gorgeous appearance. She is without a doubt the most beautiful and sexy accountant who ever lived… Makes James want to quit his job, so that is telling of how fine Vesper is.

1. Honey Rider
Film: DR. NO
Played by: Ursula Andress
Quote: ‘You smell nicer already.’

How fine? The shot in which she comes walking out of the water in bikini is breathtaking. That image alone makes Honey Rider the iconic Bond girl. But besides beauty, she has substance as well. Her father was a marinist, looking for special sea shells all over the world until he disappeared on Key Crab, Dr. No’s secret island. Honey has picked up her father’s trade. She is a ballsy woman, not afraid to visit the dangerous island where the metal-handed Dr. No executes his evil nuclear plans. She shows her courage again when she attacks Dr. No’s henchman to help Bond. In short; very pretty, smart, nice and spicy. The perfect Bond girl cocktail.

Read also:

James Bond: 10 Greatest Villains

James Bond: 10 Most Memorable Deaths (Caused by Bond’s Adversaries)

The James Bond Films Rated From Worst To Best (24-11)

James Bond: 10 Best Title Sequences

Posted on 4 oktober 2015 by Jeppe Kleijngeld

In anticipation of SPECTRE, FilmDungeon.com editor Jeppe Kleyngeld lists his favourite things about the James Bond series in 12 unique features. Enjoy!

10. The Man with the Golden Gun
Song: ‘The Man with the Golden Gun’
Artist: Lulu (performer) and John Barry (composer)
Golden guns and bullets and beautiful (naked) dames make for a very cool opening sequence, even though the opening song by Scottish singer Lulu is somewhat forgettable. The theme tune is considered by critics to be among the weakest of Barry’s contributions to the series. He agrees himself. ‘It’s the one I hate most… it just never happened for me.’

9. Tomorrow Never Dies
Song: ‘Tomorrow Never Dies’
Artist: Sheryl Crow (writer and performer) and Mitchell Froom (writer and producer)

Bond really enters the digital age with TOMORROW NEVER DIES. The title scene represents that transition perfectly with the usual images of guns and girls morphed into digital transformations. It has a relaxed pace, features a melodic song by Sheryl Crow and perfectly fits the media theme of the instalment.

8. Moonraker
Song: ‘Moonraker’
Artist: Shirley Bassey (performer) and John Barry (composer)
High velocity, blue moons, the earth seen from space, lunar experience, dames flying… The Moonraker title sequence features the third and final Bond-song performed by Shirley Bassey (following GOLDFINGER and DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER). Very pleasant title sequence that feels a bit like floating in outer space…

7. Licence to Kill
Song: ‘Licence to Kill’
Artist: Gladys Knight (performer) and Michael Kamen (composer)
John Barry was not available at the time of production for LICENCE TO KILL, so Michael Kamen (LETHAL WEAPON, DIE HARD) got the composing job. The song, performed by Gladys Knight, became one of the finest and most popular title songs of the series. It remains a classic song to this day, really beautiful. The title design is the last one by Maurice Binder. He died in 1991.

6. Dr. No
Song: ‘The James Bond Theme’
Artist: Monty Norman (writer) and John Barry (composer)
The first ever title sequence is a pretty basic, but colourful and atmospheric animation sequence. What really makes it work is the exciting and cool surf rock style guitar riff. This ‘James Bond theme’ would return in every Bond flick. Since this is the first time the theme music is used, a position in this list is obligatory.

5. Casino Royale
Song: ‘You Know My Name’
Artist: Chris Cornell (writer and performer) and David Arnold (writer and composer)
‘You know my name.’ Yes, we do. The CASINO ROYALE animation is a stunning piece of art work. In designing the credit sequence, designer Daniel Kleinman was inspired by the cover of the 1953 British first edition of CASINO ROYALE, which featured Ian Fleming’s original design of a playing card bordered by eight red hearts dripping with blood. The scene ends with Bond’s double 0 status being confirmed. New Bond Daniel Craig walks up to the camera, slowly revealing his face. Yes, this is Bond allright.

4. GoldenEye
Song: ‘GoldenEye’
Artist: Tina Turner (performer), Bono & The Edge (writers) and Nellee Hooper (composer)
Tina Turner’s GoldenEye is one of the coolest opening songs ever. It rightly became one of the highest-charting hit singles of Turner’s career in the UK and Europe. The images of the credit sequence mostly revolve around the destruction of the old USSR, one of the main themes of GOLDENEYE. It also has a gun popping out of a girl’s mouth; a combination of the two most frequently used elements in Bond title sequences. Fantastic first design job by Daniel Kleinman, who succeeded Maurice Binder who had died in 1991.

3. You Only Live Twice
Song: ‘You Only Live Twice’
Artist: Nancy Sinatra (performer) and John Barry (composer)
Bitter sweet Asian style credit sequence featuring one of the most beautiful James Bond title songs. Nancy Sinatra sings a song that could easily be her fathers; romantic and spellbinding. Maurice Binder created another visually impressive intro featuring volcanos, Japanese hand fans and off course pretty Asian girls. We like.

2. Goldfinger
Song: ‘Goldfinger’
Artist: Shirley Bassey (performer) and John Barry (composer)
Beautiful golden images combines with the greatest James Bond title song hands down. Shirley Bassey’s vocals give us goose bumps every time. Interestingly, the theme was almost taken out of the film because of its producer’s (Harry Saltzman) opinion. He hated it, saying ‘That’s the worst fucking song I’ve ever heard in my fucking life’. Luckily, there was no time to record another song, so the theme song stayed. During the opening, we get to see many clips of the movie we are about to see moulded in golden shapes. It has the same effect gold does; it makes us greedy for more. Great job!

1. Skyfall
Song: ‘Skyfall’
Artist: Adele (writer and performer) and Paul Epworth (writer and producer)
‘This is the end…’ A fascinating play of shadows and dark underwater worlds, and tokens of death… Designer Daniel Kleinman’s best so far. And Adele’s title song really has the classic sound to it. An unparalleled beauty of a credit sequence.