Wiseguy Guide for Rookies

Terminology

Agita: Stress
A good earner: What wiseguys are supposed to be.
Associate: Involved with Mafia but not yet a made guy.
Bada Bing!: Stripclub owned by Silvio Dante (in The Sopranos).
Busting someone’s balls: Bothering somebody with sh*t.
Bust Out: Ordering on a company’s account till it runs out of credit and goes bankrupt.
Capo / Captain: Crew boss. Leads a number of soldiers. Reports to underboss.
Consigliere: Counselor of the Don. For example Tom Hagen in The Godfather and Silvio Dante in The Sopranos.
Contract: Someone needs to disappear by means of a hitman.
Don: Boss of organised crime family.
Fanook: Gay
Goomar: Steady girlfriend on the side. Of course most wiseguys are married like good Catholics ought to be.
Illegal gambling: A wiseguy’s main source of income
La Cosa Nostra (LCN): Literally ‘our thing’. Mafia. Organised crime families.
Made Guy: Connected to the mob by blood-oath.
Making one’s bones: Performing a first kill for the mob.
Mustache Pete: An old-fashioned mob boss.
OC: Short for Organised Crime. Term used by the FBI.
Omerta: Bow of silence. Never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut.
Opening the books: New members (made guys) are accepted by the mob commission.
Outstanding loan: It’s time for a weekly visit to collect or bust some skulls in.
Points: Interest over debt. Average mob rate is two points weekly.
Pop someone: To shoot someone.
Rat/stoolie/turncoat: Wiseguy that betrays his friends. Usually because he fears a lengthy prison sentence or getting whacked (or both).
RICO Laws: Main government tool for prosecuting members of the Mafia. Stands for ‘Racketeer-Influenced and Corrupt Organizations’. According to the federal statutes, RICO can be applied to anyone who is involved in the ‘operation or management’ of a ‘pattern of racketeering activity’ designed to acquire or maintain an interest in an ‘enterprise’.
Sit down: Conversation between the Don and two conflicting made members.
Soldier: Lowest rank under made guys.
To eat: To be allowed to earn.
To flip: To turn FBI informant.
Vig: Amount charged by bookmakers for services. Short for Vigorish. Also known as juice.
Whack someone: To kill someone.
Wiseguy, Goodfella: Made member of the mob.

Expressions from The Godfather

Moe Green Special: Gunshot clean through the eye because someone’s eyes became bigger than his stomach.
Going to the mattresses: Going to war.
‘Take the gun, leave the Cannoli’: What you say after you have popped a guy.
An offer you can’t refuse: Either your brains or signature will be on the contract.

Rules

Never insult, threaten or hit another made guy. (*GoodFellas, The Sopranos, Gotti)

Stick to the omerta (never rat out your friends). (*GoodFellas, The Sopranos, Gotti)

Money should be carried in a bundle. Not in a wallet. (*Donnie Brasco)

Mustaches are not acceptable. (*Donnie Brasco)

Who kills a don can never become a don. (*Mobsters, Gotti)

A made guy is untouchable for anyone except of course the bosses. (*GoodFellas)

A soldier kicks up money to his capo who gives a piece to the (under)boss. Never keep income secret from the bosses. (The Sopranos)

Never start an affair with another member’s wife. (Casino)

* Examples of movies in which those rules were broken.

Read also: The Sopranos – 100 Greatest Moments

Bruce Campbell: A B-Moviestar’s Biography

For every George Clooney and Steven Spielberg, there are thousands of working class slobs in Tinsel Town. Bruce Campbell’s biography ‘If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B-Movie Actor’ is a homage to this B-crowd. Bruce who? That’s the point exactly. For those of us who grew up on a diet of classy horror movies in the eighties and nineties, he is a household name, for he was the star of one of the greatest horror series of that era: the holy Evil Dead trilogy (consisting of The Evil Dead, Evil Dead II and Army of Darkness).

‘If Chins Could Kill’ tells Bruce’s story. It was first published in 2001, so it doesn’t include the television adaptation of Evil Dead called Ash Vs. Evil Dead, but that’s no problem; there are plenty of great stories preceding that terrific cult show. In chapter 1, Campbell describes his childhood in Detroit, Michigan, with his parents and two older brothers. They did their fair share of monkeying around, and then good old Bruce became interested in girls. It became a lifelong obsession.

As he grew older, he had to find a way to keep on having fun. He discovered that his father Charles was an actor in a local theater. At age 14, Bruce joined the group and he soon played his first roles on stage. In the years that followed, he met various would-be actors and filmmakers, including one who would make it really big: Sam Raimi. After shooting a bunch of pretty cool 8 MM amateur films, Campbell, Raimi and another guy called Robert Tapert wondered: can we make a profession out of this?

The junior film crew decided to focus on the horror genre, because of the low budget required. For inspiration, they watched many horror shows at the drive-in theater and got a good sense of what audiences liked (when do they laugh? When do they scream?). Then they shot Within the Woods, the short predecessor of The Evil Dead. Their next challenge was a considerable one; they had to raise 150.000 dollars to be able to shoot their first feature length horror movie on 16 MM film (which they would afterwards blow up to 35 MM for cinema screenings) and to cover all other expenses. This seemed impossible, but they bought suits, went to work, and eventually raised the money.

After a grueling 12-week shoot in a run-down cabin in the woods of Tennessee, they canned the film, and luckily for the private investors, they delivered a genre classic. It turned out that its director was a genuine talent in visual storytelling, and Campbell undeniably a true horror star. True to the aim of his book, Campbell describes all the collaborators and the challenges they had to overcome to get this movie made. None of the other actors continued acting after The Evil Dead and all pursued other occupations.

If you’re serious about shooting a low budget movie, you should definitely read this book. It contains many tips on raising money, and then actually shooting it with hardly any resources. After that come the reshoots, the editing and sound editing, and then comes an even tougher part: marketing and selling the damn thing. Luckily for the crew, Stephen King saw their film at a movie event and wrote positively about it. His recommendation did miracles for the marketing of what was originally known as Book of the Dead, an unmarketable title; people might think they’d have to do reading at the screening. The investors of the retitled The Evil Dead made their money back, but the boys didn’t make anything. Yet, they now had a film under their belt.

What followed was the major flop Crimewave, co-written by The Coen Brothers. Campbell didn’t get a whole lot of work after that. He was in a soap series where he met his wife to be (a fragment from this show can be seen in Fargo, in the scene in which sociopath Gaear is watching television in the cabin). Crimewave could have been a career ender in Hollywood, but they had a fallback project: doing a sequel to the successful Evil Dead. Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn (1987) became a legendary sequel and it is still considered to be among the greatest horror films ever made (it’s second on my top 10 horror list).

Still, Campbell – despite having played a lead role in a popular film – was no mainstream star and had to work as a security guard to make ends meet (“hey, you’re that guy from Evil Death, say that groovy line”). He also got divorced and met his new wife (a make-up artist) at a movie set. Campbell’s career would be closely tied to Raimi’s and in 1993, they would complete the trilogy with Army of Darkness. If you’ve ever wondered how much Bruce made with starring in the lead role in this movie ( I did!), the answer is in this book. It’s 500 K. This seems like an okay sum, but you have to subtract 25 percent for agents and managers leaving 375.000. Then deduct taxes (federal and state at the highest level) and you’re left with 187.500. Because he was recently divorced, his wife got half leaving Bruce with 93.750. This is still a lot of money, but considering it was two years work, he made just 46.875 a year, which is not what you’d expect a movie star (even a B-movie star) to make.

Still, Campbell continued to find work and most importantly: have fun. Especially when he went to New Zealand to work as actor and director on the tv-show Hercules: The Legendary Journeys and spin-of Xena: The Warrior Princess. In Campbell’s words: “shooting this show in New Zealand, away from studio interference, brought me back to the fun of filmmaking, like when we were shooting 8 MM movies back in Michigan.”

Read also: Ash vs Evil Dead: 5 Greatest Moments

Cannibalism Now!

In Cannibal Holocaust from 1980, a four-headed film crew heads into the Amazon jungle to shoot a documentary about cannibalism. They never return. When their cans of film are found later on, the gruesome truth about their faiths is uncovered. The film has been extremely controversial since its release and is still banned in several countries. Cannibal Holocaust remains a very unpleasant viewing today due its nauseatingly realistic scenes of violence and mutilation. Still, the shocking subject matter seems to have a certain appeal on many people. What is it with cannibalism that fascinates people so much and how is this fascination translated into cinema?

In Western civilization, cannibalism is considered as something perverted, disgusting, extremely primitive, sick and demented. In most countries there is not even a law against cannibalism. Whenever an occasional case of cannibalism does come to light, the perpetrator is mostly convicted of another act such as murder or necrophilia. The eating of individuals from the same species does still occur, but it happens very marginally. The fact that it still happens means that it is definitely human. We can only admit to this repressed fascination by engaging in fantasy. Through books, music and – off course – movies we can come to terms with the cannibal inside of us.

Cannibals in cinema go back a long time. As far as I can tell, the first movie that features cannibalism is the short Queenie and the Cannibal from 1912. It is the beginning of a very long list. Last century alone, 90 movies premiered with the notion ‘cannibalism’ in the title. Movies that feature the theme cannibalism encompass several genres and subgenres. Very often they are horrors, adventures or crossovers. Mostly, they are also exploitation and sexploitation flicks (or straight out porn). Many can also be classified as racist – as natives are portrayed as savage flesh eaters. Some examples of these types of cannibal movies include; Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals (1977), The Mountain of the Cannibal God (1978), Cannibal Ferox (1981), The Flesh (1991) and Diary of a Cannibal (2007). Human’s fascination with the subject is also translated into the zombie film. After all, despite the fact that they are dead, zombies are still humans that eat other human’s flesh.

Exploitation films that deal with cannibalism are often horrors, but there are quite a lot of comedies as well. Ivan Reitman’s second feature film is the Canadian comedy-horror Cannibal Girls about three beautiful young women who lure men with their seductive charm to their home in order to kill and eat them. By drinking their blood and eating their flesh the women maintain their youthfulness and immortality. Eating Raoul is a 1982 black comedy in which cannibalism is used for the central gag. Another black comedy and horror is Motel Hell (1980) about a farmer / hotel owner who makes meat products with special ingredients. Auntie Lee’s Meat Pies (1992) already tells you all you need to know with its title and Trey Parker from South Park made Cannibal! The Musical (1993) in his college days. This blend of comedy, biography and musical is loosely based on the history of Alfred ‘Alferd’ Packer who was convicted for cannibalism in 1874.

While Italians can often be credited for nasty exploitation cannibal films, the French are largely responsible for putting cannibals in the Art House. A Taste For Woman (1964) is a black comedy by French director Jean Leon from an adapted screenplay by Roman Polanski. This is about a vegetarian restaurant that acts as cover for a sect that eats women as part of a full moon ceremony. Jean-Luc Godards Week End (1967) shows the savage journey of a bourgeois couple through France. They eventually fall prey to hippy cannibals. In Delicatessen (1991) by Marc Caro and Jean-Pierre Jeunet a butcher / landlord sells human flesh to his odd tenants in a post-apocalyptic world. Finally Les amants criminels (1999, François Ozon) is a thriller that retells the Hansel and Gretel legend, only with the wicked witch replaced by a woodsman with cannibalistic tendencies.

While the Art House and Grindhouse cinemas have had their taste of cannibalism, mainstream Hollywood has also exploited the theme for big time box-office return. The Silence of the Lambs was a sleeper hit in 1991, and its main star Hannibal ‘The Cannibal’ Lecter, portrayed by Anthony Hopkins, returned in Hannibal (2001) and Red Dragon (2002). Especially the first sequel has scenes of explicit cannibalism in it, just look at the scene in which Lecter feeds on Ray Liotta’s brains. In Sin City (2005), the mute serial killer Kevin (Elijah Wood) kills prostitutes, mounts their heads on a wall like hunting trophies and cannibalizes their remains, feeding the leftovers to his pet wolf.

Not a Hollywood film, but immensely popular was The Texas Chain Saw Massacre in 1974. In it, a group of friends stumble upon a family of cannibals in rural Texas. The film was made independently by director Tobe Hooper for just around 140.000 dollars. Due to its graphic content, the film was banned in several countries, but did make 30.8 million dollars at the U.S. box office alone. It got five sequels and a remake in 2003. A quite similar film is The Hills Have Eyes, which is a cult classic directed by Wes Craven in 1977. The story revolves around a family of mutant cannibals that prey on a family who have been stranded in the Nevada desert. In 1991, Craven also made The People Under the Stairs about a psychotic and cannibalistic couple played by Everett McGill and Wendy Robie who also played a couple in Twin Peaks. They ‘keep’ people between the walls of their house and eat the occasional liver.

While Cannibal Holocaust and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre only pretend to be based on reality, there are also real real-life stories about cannibalism that have been turned into movies. Think about Grimm Love aka Rohtenburg. This movie is based on the true story of self-confessed cannibal Armin Meiwes and the ‘internet cannibal movement’. In March 2001 Meiwes killed and partially ate a man he had met on the internet. The eating was based on a mutual agreement. The movie was banned in Germany after Meiwes filed a complaint against it. True cannibalism is also found in Alive (1993). This film tells the story of the Uruguayan national rugby teams’ plane that crashed in the middle of the Andes Mountains in 1972. The survivors have to take desperate measures to stay alive, including eating their deceived friends and family members.

Except for voluntary cannibalism there are also quite a few examples of people who force or trick people into eating other humans. Look no further than The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover (1989) and Titus (1999) based on a play by William Shakespeare. There is also Jennifer’s Body (2009), starring Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried and written by Oscar winning screenplay writer Diablo Cody. In it, Megan Fox plays a high school beauty queen who eats her boyfriends.

Judging from this overview, movies that feature cannibalism come in many forms and vary strongly in quality. Compared to food, they range from the cheapest junk to the highest culinary achievement. Either way, the theme has successfully manifested itself into cinema and still fascinates people to this day and will undoubtedly continue to do so in the future.